Best Site Ever: Funny Or Die

Most people have probably heard of Funnyordie.com, the website run by Will Ferrell and company. The site has some amazing videos, including my personal favorites The Landlord, pointing out how Ironman is cooler than Batman, and Puppies! (Though many videos are NSFW — so watch out!)

Anywho, I really can't stand the new Latisse product — why would anyone need to grow more eyelashes, that's what mascara is for! Especially when your eyes can change color, or other awful things could happen, not too far from what is described below.

Lashisse from Molly Sims

Gross, hilarious, and sickening, because it's kinda true.

Dilemma: The Dangers of "Lost" Devotion

Newsflash: I love Lost. I know - what a shock, right? Well, sometimes such unbridled devotion can be a baaad thing. For example: whenever I overhear total strangers talking about Lost, I struggle to not jump into the conversation, and if the mention incorrect information, I die a little bit inside doing the "normal" thing and not budding into their discussion. Though this is something many people struggle with.

Another example: when money is on the line. I hate spending money, but I do not mind shilling out for this dear, dear show. I've bought/pre-ordered all the previous four seasons, and in the process always got them for under $40, which is a big added bonus when drama season DVDs usually go for around$60. However, ABC/Universal went and decided that randomly, for the fifth season they would FINALLY put out a special edition box set. Look at this beautiful thing.


According to this website and contributor Peter Sciretta, this is only the conceptual artwork. But my, isn't it beautiful?

It's going to have the five discs, a VHS tape (!), and I'm assuming some cool pamphlets or something. But the VHS tape and and special edition-ness of it makes this a DVD worth buying. Lost has never put out a special DVD set, so I would assume they have some pretty great stuff for this. Also, the set (which is normally $119.99) is only $79.99 at Amazon (double !!).

But here's where my crazy type-A-ness comes in — if I were to get the Dharma Initiation Kit, as it's being called, it would not match my previous Lost DVD sets. Here they are. Aren't they pretty?



This is the regular season 5 DVD, which goes along with the previous jacket designs.

It is another serious pet peeve of mine when the companies change the style of the DVD jackets. Have they never heard of consistency? So the uniformity of Lost's is something that I really appreciate. Also, the regular edition is a cheaper $38.49 on Amazon ($59.99 otherwise).

So do I go for hopefully (but not guaranteed) awesome extras at a relatively good price, or cheaper similar packaging with pretty good extras?

I would pray on the subject, but I don't want to get smitten (or smote? Smoted?) by God for bothering him with something completely trivial.

The Ithacan: "The Informant!" Review

First review of the semester. This was a decent film, and I give it a better review than I actually felt about the film, because from an objective point of view it was very good, it just did not tickle my particular funny bone.

Damon fills out role as informant

By Anne Gould Northgraves Staff Writer | September 24, 2009

Describing “The Informant!” is as complex as the plot. And just as each character in the film has a different view of the complications and events, every viewer is going to have a different opinion on the movie’s merits ­— which is part of its charm.

The plot appears simple at first: Mark Whitacre (Matt Damon), a pudgy executive at a corn processing company, becomes an FBI informant when he learns of a global corn-lysine price-fixing scheme. But Mark is a compulsive liar with delusions of grandeur. Unable to untangle his own lies, Mark eventually finds himself on trial for criminal activities. While Kurt Eichenwald’s book treats this as a thrilling tale of corporate espionage, director Steven Soderbergh takes a much different view. Imagine drawing from Soderbergh’s own body of work: The winks and nods of humor from the “Ocean’s” series combined with the serious corporate fraud of “Erin Brockovich,” but concerning corn by-products instead of pollution.

“The Informant!,” based on the nonfiction book of the same name (minus the exclamation point), exposes the absurdity of the situation to the audience even as the characters are dead serious about the multiple frauds going on. And the types of fraud differ greatly: corporate espionage, price-fixing, embezzlement and lying to the FBI, to name a few. But the many twists could potentially confuse the audience. Even someone who enjoys the general tone of the film will have a difficult time keeping track of the truth beneath the lies, in part because more lies are always being revealed.

Under the convoluted twists of deception and fabrication is an aura of absurdity created by Mark’s deceit. Soderbergh, also the cinematographer on the film, puts a yellow-orange tint on most of the movie — mirroring Mark’s excited personality and colorful inner dialogue. The tone and bright background age the feel of the film, giving it a more authentic ’90s vibe.

Even more than the overall color palette, the music of “The Informant!” is vital to establishing the mischievous tones in each scene. Prolific composer Marvin Hamlisch, the mind behind Broadway’s “A Chorus Line,” penned the upbeat score and garners widespread laughs from the entire audience. It was made to contrast scenes of great ruin and success on the part of Damon and the other actors.

Though the entire ensemble excels in the subtlety required to make the situations real, the film belongs to the inspired performance by Damon. He is hardly recognizable, having gained roughly 30 pounds for the role and hiding under a bad wig and an unfortunate moustache. These physical changes help effectively establish Mark’s cluelessness, from checking on his secret-recording equipment during a meeting to wanting to remain the president of a company he is trying to take down. Wardrobe aside, the biggest insight into Mark’s, and Damon’s, greatest triumph in the film is the off-topic, stream-of-consciousness narration he provides.

Almost never pertinent to the subject discussed during the scene, Mark’s disconnected thought process provides both humor and a window into his world, where in the end everything has a purpose.

“The Informant!’s” complex structure and combative stories make it a difficult film to gain interest in. However, with a basic understanding of the plot, an open mind to let the story develop and a sense of humor, “The Informant!” definitely deserves to be seen.

“The Informant!” was written by Scott Z. Burns and directed by Steven Soderbergh.

The Ithacan: Resident ducks make a splash

With a new semester back at Ithaca comes a new group of The Ithacan articles! This first piece was not something I proposed — my editor Michelle had the story, and I volunteered to cover it. It was a bit of a difficult write, because obviously I couldn't talk to my subjects, other than getting a "quack quack," and it was a bit hard to find an angle on. My initial write up was scratched, rightfully so, because it didn't have a cohesive tone or subject. My second draft was a lot better, and after a final tweak to the lead, or "lede," it was done. And I actually got article of the week for the whole paper, which was nice!

Resident ducks make a splash

Two domesticated ducks make their mark on campus as friendly, personable celebrities

By Anne Gould Northgraves Staff Writer | September 17, 2009

Frank and Whiskey spend most of their mornings making their way from the Public Safety pond to the Roy H. Park School of Communications among groups of students and faculty. The journey is long for their little, webbed feet, but the rewards are plentiful as the bold pair approaches people, begging for breakfast.
With their human-friendly behavior, these two mallard ducks have gained a great deal of notoriety in a short amount of time.
Junior cinema and photography student Kristyne Fetsic, who began seeing the ducks this semester, said she already has an affinity for them.
“I’ve seen them outside just this year,” Fetsic said. “I call them Frank and Whiskey.”
Her name for the ducks would be more fitting if the two were male, but the lack of color on their heads and their overall muted coloring indicates that the two are, in fact, females.
Kit Straley, junior biology major, is especially interested in ducks and said she was shocked by the ducks’ interest in humans.
“One of the first days we were back … we were going to stop at Park, and they were just sitting outside,” Straley said. “I’ve always really liked ducks. I got really excited, and I slowly approached them, and then they just both stood up and ran over to us, which was a big surprise.”
This is the first semester these particular ducks have been seen by students. However, a pair of equally friendly ducklings were noticed this summer by junior psychology major Jacqueline Baum.
“I was here over the summer, and there were two baby ducks that were following everybody around,” Baum said. “We tried to leave them alone, and they kept following us around, so we had to wait ‘til they fell asleep, and then we ran away. We didn’t want to disrupt nature.”
Baum said she believes they are the same ducks because they make identical sounds and one of the ducklings had deformed wings, a trait shared with one of the Park School ducks.
“I assume they were the same ducks because they sound the same; they don’t really quack so well,” Baum said. “There’s one who has a wing stuck up in the back.”
In Straley’s close interaction with the ducks, she has observed the same deformity in the wings of one of the birds.
“Its wings were almost turned inside-out,” Straley said. “They fold out and up and stuck up like little spikes on its back, instead of [lying] down flat.”
Animal ecologist and assistant professor of biology Leann Kanda also observed the ducks and believes the malformation — and subsequently their inability to flee from humans — led students to start feeding one of the ducks. When the other noticed, it began begging for food as well.
“Since [the duck] couldn’t fly away when danger was approaching … basically it was stuck there,” Kanda says. “It started getting lots of attention. It started getting lots of food. And so its sibling said, ‘Hey, food.’”
To some it is very tempting to feed these cute animals. However, doing so is not in the ducks’ best interest. Straley said feeding bread to the ducks is not healthy.
“It’s bad for them,” she said. “Just like if you only ate bread.”
Sergeant Ronald Hart of Patrol and Security Services said he has responded to several complaints that the ducks, while not dangerous, are a bother.
“They don’t bite,” he said. “They can’t harm you. They’re more of a nuisance. We’ve had calls from people who’ve gone in [the building], and the ducks have walked in the building behind them.”
Kanda said the ducks’ comfort around people is more understandable given that they live on a college campus.
“Birds on campuses, [which are] very human-dominated landscapes, are always much more domesticated,” Kanda said. “They get used to humans being around that aren’t hurting them.”
Another reason not to feed the ducks is the hope that they might return to normal habits and participate in this fall’s migration. Straley said she noticed the deformed duck’s wings have been improving.
“Over time its [wings have] been sticking out a little bit less,” Straley said. “ I still can tell which one’s which because they act very different. But in terms of their wings, they now look exactly the same.”
This is positive news for all those who have become attached to the birds.
Straley said the ducks are becoming quite famous, starring in parts of several student projects.
“I took pictures of them for intermediate photography, and someone else used them for a CP class for a film called ‘Duck Films,’” Straley said. “They’re like celebrities.”
“I like them,” Baum said. “They’re kind of like the Park mascots now.”

A Brand New Day, a Brand New Blog (Format)

I've been wanting to spice up the blog for a while, and thought this picture in the header (scroll to the top, take a gander) was fitting and rather pretty. Also, I really didn't like how the width of the main content would adjust to how wide the internet window was. I need to have things be uniform, and tend to freak out, visibly or internally, when things change.

In the process of changing the template, I could not find a format with fixed sizes that was wide enough to accommodate the width of the Hulu videos I so often put in my posts. BUT I discovered how to adjust templates! It's a very daunting task, just look at all that html code:

So I was able to make it wide enough. How happy I am with myself.

9/22: The Day of Supplication to the TV Gods!

I was just coming back from an event at Church, when I ran into my friend, Kelly (Paul). We chatted for a minute before she said, "Oh, and Happy Hobbit Day."

"What?" I said.

"Hobbit Day," Kelly said, expecting me to already know.

After a moment, I suddenly realized. "September 22, yes!" I said with glee. "Happy birthday Bilbo and Frodo!"

But then, a strange sensation came over me. I went back, remembering...

WWWOOOOSSHHHH

September 22, 2004. It was a simpler time. I was just starting my sophomore year in high school. The Red Sox were only just in the running for the wild-card race - again. My sister had just started her freshman year at Fairfield. We had just gotten a new couch in the den where our TV is. And there was a hole in the television landscape where Friends and Frasier had been.

Then, at 8 pm, everything changed.



Feel free to watch the whole episode over again. I'll wait. Because it's worth it.

Beautiful, ain't it?

WWWWOOOSSSSHHHHH

Back in the present day, I begin to squeal uncontrollably.

That's right. Happy Lost Day everyone! Five years ago today ABC brought us what is arguably one of the most important shows in the last decade, if not the history of prime-time TV. Oceanic Flight 815 crashed on a strange Island. They were not rescued. They heard a monster. Jack was a doctor with control issues. Kate was a fugitive with a heart of gold. Charlie sang "You all everybody" and gave up drugs. Sawyer was a wise-ass con-man. Hurley was a chill dude except when the numbers were involved. Sayid was an Iraqi tech guy looking for love. Claire was pregnant with possibly a magic child. Jin was Korean and seemed mean to his wife. Sun was the stifled Korean wife who secretly spoke English. Michael was the rash father. Walt was his "special" son. John Locke was the wise bald man who used to be paralyzed. Boone was the do-gooder rich boy. Shannon was his spoiled step-sister. Vincent was the yellow lab. Rose was the spiritual older woman who believed her husband - also on the plane - survived.

What a simpler time it was! The cast aways were concerned about where the water was coming from, what they should do with the fuselage. There were no Others, no distinct knowledge of Smokey. No Dharma, no hatches (at least not the interiors), no buttons to push, no shootings, no Benjamin Linus, no ageless Richard, no time-bending/nose-bleeding, no Freighter invasions, no getting back to the Island, no flashes besides those that when back, no giant statues, and definitely no Jacob.

Though events on Lost have gotten quite complicated, it's still a character-driven show with all the big questions of life and death in this extreme situation. The bigger meanings are the subject of many theorizings — Doc Jensen is my personal favorite, especially his (and Dan Snierson's) Totally Lost videos — but I've never had the head for figuring out that stuff by myself. I just love the complex people that have been created, their interactions with each other, how they have grown and changed, and what they are willing to do in the crazy world that is the Island.*

There's also a lot of fun that happens on the show and because of Lost. Here are my personal favorites:

Charlie's physical comedy when trying not to read the kidnapped Claire's diary. It's so simple, yet sweet, endearing, and still makes me laugh.



"What?" It needs no more explanation. Ben has the best ones. Obvs.



Another compilation that makes my heart very happy, because it's Sawyer-centric. The nicknames are very inventive, which is a credit to the writers, but Josh Holloway's deliveries make them more than just witty, they become sublime. This is seasons 1-3, for seasons 4-5, see here.



My favorite fake video is a classic from season 1, but it still makes me laugh soooo much. "You know what, I'm sensitive to you."



Lost Rhapsody originally came from the first season, with the use of cutouts and Weird Al's version of "Bohemian Rhapsody," "Bohemian Polka." Though the original was great because it was the first, the second's beautiful rotoscoping and spot-on lyrics make it just that little bit better.



That's a heck of a lot of videos (and I could easily add at least 3 more). But I'll just leave this little taste, and let you look around for yourselves. It's the least we can do to celebrate the wonderful contribution to arts and entertainment that Lost will always be.

* Also, Josh Holloway is a great, and greatly attractive, actor. Those gratuitous shirtless scenes make all the bad worth it.

** We cannot forget Hobbit Day as well. Here's a video that addresses both joyous occasions to celebrate this day.

Best Site Ever: The Onion

The Onion, the hysterical fake-news group, has been around for a while — twenty years in fact. It was doing Jon Stewart before Jon Stewart did Jon Stewart. I've also known about it for some time, between watching their clips on Hulu, and I recall my sister giving my father an Onion book for Christmas a long time ago.

But it just struck me that this is my new favorite site (after EW.com, that is. My love for that site is like my love for cheese. Sure I eat other things, but I can and do eat cheese all the time). Exhibit A of why you should love The Onion too:


Facebook, Twitter Revolutionizing How Parents Stalk Their College-Aged Kids

It's funny 'cause it's true.

P.S. - Thank you, Mom and Dad, for not being involved in either of those sites.

Are Any Films NOT Improved by Being 30 Seconds...and Reinacted by Bunnies?

I have to admit, I was one of the very few people that did not like March of the Penguins that much. It was almost universally loved, but I just did not find the film that compelling and it was rather tedious, despite the adorableness of the animals and the kick-ass narration by A+ voice talent Morgan Freeman.

However, whist surfing the wild web yonder I rediscovered Starz 30-second Bunny Theatre. And their version of the film is much better (or just hilarious), what with the pretty decent Freeman mimicry, and the line "This is a story of survival and hot penguin loving." Check it out.



Want to get a load of the many other films that are just as, or even more, amazing when they are 30-seconds and re-enacted by bunnies? Check out angryalien.com. They are also rentable on DVDs!

The Baywatch Run: Renaissance Style, and Other Observations from the Hilarity That Is "Much Ado About Nothing"

Upon initially starting Kenneth Branagh's 1993 all-star film adaptation of Much Ado About Nothing, I was just going to write a little post about how hilarious the opening montage is. But the film as a whole became so over the top funny — both in the dialogue and the staging — this is going to be a bit longer.

But let's start at the very beginning (it's a very good place to start). If you want to watch the rather beautifully structure beginning, feel free to watch this video from the start (say what you will about Branagh, but his choice to start with the bard's own words before the actor/director/writer's images is incredibly respectful). If the hilarity is all you care about, skip ahead to about 5:36.



It's just a genuinely and generally hilarious opening. Sure, you could view the slow mo riding montage of the men returning from war as an emphasis on male dominance, but I see it as a rather delicious display of attractive men (Denzel Washington, Keanu Reeves, Branagh, Robert Sean Leonard) for my viewing pleasure, a la the Baywatch run - hot yet ridiculous at the same time. And the following scene of the group bathing ups the WTF? ante.

All of the flirtatiously cutting dialogue between Benedick and Beatrice is comedy gold, and the idiocy of Dogberry and the other justice-servicemen is as insane as Quince's acting troupe in A Midsummer Night's Dream. Dogberry's lines, "Marry, sir, they have committed false report; moreover, they have spoken untruths; secondarily, they are slanders; sixth and lastly, they have belied a lady; thirdly, they have verified unjust things; and, to conclude, they are lying knaves," crack me up every time.

But it's really the little things that made this movie amazingly hilarious...or hilariously amazing (take your pick). The mere presence of Keanu Reeves, so pretty in the face, with nothin' really going on upstairs. The creepy oil rubdown his manservant was giving him. Branagh's line inflections ("have ^you?", the peacock call) and silent movie-schtick with the folding chair. Michael Keaton's co-opting of his Beetlejuice speech patterns for Dogberry.

Thanks for all the fun, Shakespeare (and you too, Mr. Branagh).